Confident Mother

INTERFACING WITH THE NHS

2011-05-02T12:17:00.000-07:00

It is a while since writing on the blog but as I am unable to drive at the moment and need a break from studying thought I would share a bit of what I have been through lately.

Whilst riding my push bike a few weeks ago I took a tumble and landed very badly on my left arm. I immediately knew my wrist/arm was broken. This would mean a visit to the previously unattended Emergency Department of our local large teaching hospital, supporting my poor painful deformed wrist in my rather old and tatty t shirt.

After a reasonable short length of time I was x-rayed and was informed that I had what is termed an unstable smiths fracture of my left distal radius…hope you like my jargon; this basically meant that my broken arm needed an operation to fix it. 3 hours later I was finally plastered up and sent home. The staff had informed me that I would have to ring several days in a row to see if they had a bed/theatre space available so they could carry out the impending op.

Spending several painful days in plaster whilst awaiting surgery was not pleasant but worse was yet to come. My first experience of major surgery was at the age of 7 and that was an awful experience. This was to set me on the road to becoming a nurse (the nurses at the time seemed to me to be so horrible that I had decided in my heart that I could be much kinder)
I was extremely anxious about the whole anaesthetic and operation thing for other reasons not necessary to go into on here, so during my waiting I spent much time praying and reading the word, feeling somewhat better by the time I was admitted.

I was finally admitted 6 days later to the Trauma Lounge aka theatre waiting room. I was there on my own for 4 hours. However in all this time I was not once asked if I was anxious or nervous, whether this was my first op etc or if I had any questions. I was asked how much I weighed 3 times (though nobody appeared with any scales to actually weigh me). Yes I do appreciate that I am an adult but I was still in pain. On mentioning to the anaesthetist that I was feeling anxious and would I have a pre-med I was told that pre meds were “old fashioned”.
After a couple of hiccups in the theatre recovery I was transferred to an orthopaedic ward where I spent approximately 24 hours recuperating. This I am sorry to say brought back many of the feelings I had experienced as a child in hospital. It also bought memories of the many hours I spent in labour feeling vulnerable and frightened. Dont get me wrong the staff were pleasant enough in a task oriented sort of way (observations. Giving out drugs etc) but not great at the caring aspect as there was little verbal communication. I was desperate to get home so that I could rest properly as the ward was very busy and noisy during the night. I left the ward clutching my discharge papers but without having any further instructions about my newly pinned and plated arm and how I should care for it. The only instruction I had was to return to fracture clinic in 2 weeks’ time for physio. Since them I have received a letter with an appointment for 4 weeks’ time. Still no instructions have been given on wound care or if/when I have to have the stitches removed.

Having been a nurse for many years you would of thought this would be a busman’s holiday for me and yet I felt like a fish out of water; confused and bewildered and at times literally gasping for air. Also somewhat disappointed at the lack of what amounts to basic nursing care.(kindness, compassion and empathy)

Since returning home I have spent many hours reflecting on this experience. My thoughts have also turned to the many mums and dads I have supported at hospital births. I can now understand how vulnerable and frightened they must feel when entering this alien medical environment for what is essentially a very natural part of life.

As a Doula I am often in awe of midwives and their expert knowledge, but since my own encounter I feel I need to be more alert at recognising that “my mums” may not understand all the’ medicaleeze’ that trips off the tongues of midwives, doctors and doulas alike. I will endeavour to be more astute in empowering them to ask the right questions and not to make assumptions as to their understanding and comprehension of what is going on, more as your whole concept of what to expect can change within minutes of entering this unfamiliar environment or if things don’t go according to plan.
Watch this space for updates!!

SPRING IS HERE!!

2011-03-19T11:13:00.000-07:00

Well almost,it has been a fabulous sunny day and I have had the pleasure and honour of attending the Christening of one of my "ladies" of 2010.It was great to see the handsome little chap 10 months on and what a character he is too!It is not always easy keeping in touch as life just seems to zoom by so this was especially nice to see This little fella and his fab Mummy looking so happy and relaxed.

The year has begun in a flurry of activity,in terms of birth and post natal ladies so time has been a bit short,especially as I (Yvonne) am busily studying to take the IBCLC exam in July.Of course I have apply to see if I am even eligible to take the exam.I have done enough study hours so now I have the task of working out what the perentage of hours spent with ladies has been breatfeeding support,I have a few days to do this before the March deadline.

I will keep you updated with my studies over the next few months and will hope fully be an LC by the end of the year.Which will hopefully mean we will be in a better position to support breastfeeding ladies as they face challenges!!

Confident Mother: The Pain of Reflux!!!

2011-01-05T08:02:00.000-08:00

Confident Mother: The Pain of Reflux!!!: "I am not going to talk about what reflux is as you can find all the information you need from a medical point of view on this website http:..."

The Pain of Reflux!!!

2011-01-05T07:11:00.000-08:00

I am not going to talk about what reflux is as you can find all the information you need from a medical point of view on this website

http://digestive.niddk.nih.gov/ddiseases/pubs/gerdinfant/

But what I have been thinking about is the impact on the baby and parents who have a baby with reflux especially if the baby is feeding frequently and maintains their weight.

After having heartburn towards the end of pregnancy and the agony of that,I can only assume that for a small baby it must be excruciating.My own Sons constant crying and his distress were testiment to this,the main problem being that as he was gaining weight I was told he had colic,and that a lot of the things I was told to do with him probably made it worse.

As a Mother I felt heartbroken that my baby was in distress and of course like a bad mother because I couldnt help my own baby,there were times that I even felt he didnt like me because when I tried to comfort him he cried even more!!

I suppose what I am saying is FOLLOW YOUR INSTINCTS.... I didnt I listened to people who I thought knew more than me and am forever sorry that I allowed my baby to suffer.In those days the internet wasnt around but PLEASE,PLEASE if in doubt check it out.Call someone for advice,there are lots are free breastfeeding advice lines
nowadays and lots of forums you can join(mind you trouble is when you have a distressed baby finding time is difficult)

You of course are very welcome to call me !!

Happy 2011

2011-01-03T09:58:00.000-08:00

It is a new year and a new decade,I love the beginning of the year as it is an opportunity to review what worked and what didnt in the previous year. It is the time to revisit my vision and look to how I can achieve my goals and dreams for the year ahead.

As well as my personal goals,I try to set some for my professional developement and business,one of the things I am aiming to do is to try and write more frequently in the blog,reflect on my doula journey and generally ponder anything birth and babies!!

I will try and post items of interest and would value your comments and am looking forward to some lively discussion.

So without further adue I would like to wish all my readers a year in which you will know Gods abundants blessings throughout your life.

and of course keep checking the blog !!

Yvonne xxx

Having a baby ?

2010-11-12T11:15:00.000-08:00

Well you have come to the right place!

Confident Mother Doulas are women and mothers like you are about to become,who have travelled your journey.We know the highs and lows the joy and frustration that being a new parent brings.We want to travel your journey with you and give you encouragement as you birth your baby and confidence in your mothering skills.

To find out how a Doula can help you visit

www.confidentmotherdoulas.co.uk

Have a bumptastic week

Yvonne

Its Friday!!

2010-10-01T08:32:00.000-07:00

And the end of a hectic week,despite not being very busy with Post natal ladies,still had lots to do this week,several meetings as well as trying to design a new flyer.Fish and chips for supper tonight and an early night in case I am called out to my lovely homebirth lady who is due any day now.

There was a gtreat article in the Gaurduian today about Due Dates have a look if you get chance.

Have a great weekend ,signing off now till next week.

Analytical Armadillo: Breastfeeding & (whispers) Bonding

2010-09-27T06:46:00.000-07:00

Analytical Armadillo: Breastfeeding & (whispers) Bonding: "Breastfeeding and bonding is probably one of the least discussed 'reasons to breastfeed'. Whilst many mums can acknowledge their child migh..."

New Week ...New Challenges

2010-09-27T06:22:00.000-07:00

As it is the beginning of a new week ,thought i would just do a bit of reflection on the one just past!!

As A Doula ,I am constantly being challenged both in terms of my personal and emotional growth but also in knowledge,and last week was no exception,I said a few sad goodbyes to some birth and post natal ladies and their families. Things don`t always turn out as we would like or expect and in these circumstances it is easy to question ourselves and the expectations we put on ourselves as we endevour to do our best for everyone around us including our children and our partners.

I am fortunate to have a close friend who is also my counsellor and voice of wisdom and reason,but there are may women (and Men)who dont have this kind of support close to them,I guess this is a sign of the times we live in.

Despite my not always having the answers for new Mums,I feel so honoured that I can be just a listening ear for them when they need it most,and that All Doulas do a fantastic job and that the sacrifice that they put themselves through is worth it to see a new Mum blossoming in her role !!!

Fantastic Week

2010-09-23T10:31:00.000-07:00

Wow it has been another great week at CMD hq.I had the wonderful privilege of supporting an amazing mum give birth to a gorgeous baby boy last night.It was everything birth should be calm,loving and welcoming!!

ANNOUNCMENT

2010-09-16T07:16:00.000-07:00

I am so thrilled ..........I can hardley contain myself.

Confident Mother is expanding... no not literally though I have put some weight on since hols.

Seriously tho,we are having another Doula join us,this is still very much in the early stages as she hasn`t even done her training yet, but her name is Marie,she is based in Nottingham and best of all she is my little sister!!!( I remember vividly the night she was born at home and I believe it was that wonderful,almost magical experience that first fuelled my passion for all things babies and birth.)
She is also an experienced mum and is passionate about supporting new Mums in particular in their new role,she will be introducing herself and keeping us up to date on how her training is doing in the next few weeks so watch this space.

Simple Ways to Help Toddlers to Sleep

2010-07-05T12:53:00.000-07:00

Simple Ways to Help Toddlers to Sleep

just quickly !!!

2010-07-05T12:48:00.000-07:00

We are always looking to keep up to speed with what you are looking for and the kind of support families need ,and sometimes it seems you dont all need a Post Natal doula fulltime so keep checking the website you may see some interesting things on offer soon !!!

Yvonne

What is a doula?

2010-07-03T13:37:00.000-07:00

update !!!!

2010-07-03T13:16:00.000-07:00

It is hard to believe it is so long since I posted,but to be honest the time has really flown and I just haven't had the time.

So far this year I have had the privilege of supporting 6 families as they have welcomed their precious bundles into the world,and have had the awesome honour of being part of 2 fantastic home water births,it never ceases to amaze me how wonderfully designed our bodies are to birth babies.

Have also been working with some fantastic families post natally,today I have been to see a wonderful couple who had their baby last October and he really is a smashing little fella and his mum is still breastfeeding which is BRILL.....

The pump hire is going exceptionally well and hopefully has helped more Mums to continue providing breastmilk for thier babies.

I am hoping to do the exam to become a lactation consultant next summer so am busy sorting that out at the moment so will keep you posted how that is going.

I am on call now for next few weeks so it may go quiete again as the Summer hols quickly approach.!!!!

Happy Birthing days to all our expectant parents

Yvonne x

LOTS OF NEW STUFF ON WEBSITE

2010-05-10T10:33:00.000-07:00

Just thought I would give everyone the heads up on whats been going on as it has been really quite here in blogland.

Well first things first with the help of one of my lovely Mummies I have managed to set up a face book account for confident Mother so if you want inviting please email me!

We have made quite a few changes to the website changed a few images and added some courses and ante natal classes though still a couple of glitches to iron out there also the colours are still a bit wishy washy but that too will be put right in the next few days.

I have aslo started to hire out Hospital quality breast pumps.

At the moment i am on call for some lovely Mums to be, so having lots of early nights and generally staying close to home and of course no wine for me.By the end of July I will of been on call more or less for 6 months so may well switch off my phone for a few days in August.

Well thats all for now any comments are greatly appreciated regarding the website

Thanks a lot

Yvonne xx

All My Babies: A Midwife's Own Story - Watch the Documentary Film for Free | Watch Free Documentaries Online | SnagFilms

2010-05-05T11:07:00.000-07:00

All My Babies: A Midwife's Own Story - Watch the Documentary Film for Free | Watch Free Documentaries Online | SnagFilms

TOP TEN REASONS TO INVITE A DOULA TO YOUR BIRTH

2010-02-17T13:17:00.000-08:00

Here are the top 10 reasons to invite a doula to your birth!

10. Having a doula present can reduce the length of your labour by 25%.

9. When a doula attends your birth, you and your partner have access to information about birthing options without having to remember everything from your prenatal class. It also allows you to have more control about the birth that you want and the options that are comfortable for you.

8. You can contact your doula 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with questions or concerns during pregnancy and in the early weeks with your new arrival(s). This support can help reduce the rates of postpartum depression.

7. Those who choose to have a doula reduce chances of instrumental deliveries (ie. forceps, vacuum extraction) or episiotomies.

6. Doulas work well with partners or others who are in attendance at your birth. They can help them feel included in the birth and can give suggestions about different ways to help the woman they love cope through labour and birth. For more information see our page on Partners and Doulas.

5. Hiring a doula can help connect you to many resources in your community. This can be anything from breastfeeding clinics, local play groups, chiropractors, and much more! A great time-saver for a growing family!

4. Breastfeeding provides the best nutrition for babies. Doulas can help in those first feedings as well as answer other questions as they come up.

3. Doulas meet with you prenatally too and can help you plan for your birth. Included in that, doulas can discuss with you any fears or anxieties around childbirth.

2. Families who birth with doulas can reduce their rates of requiring a c-section by 50%!

1. A doula is there from the moment you need her until a few hours after your baby/babies arrive. You have continuous support without shift changes. Having that consistency can help with transitions to the hospital, if that is your planned birth setting.

These top ten reasons where kindly given by Birth godess.

10 excellent reasons to hire a birth doula dont you think !!

-

Next top Tip

2010-02-11T11:19:00.000-08:00

If you are planning to breastfeed,it is important that you plan the help and sup[port that you will need in the first few weeks following your babies birth,ideally you should set up :
1.Practical support,as you Will be breastfeeding very often and you and your Hubby will very tired you need someone who will perhaps come and prepare a meal,do the laundry,run errands and general keep on top of household tasks.This can be your mother or Mother in Law,sisters Aunts or God friends.many women decide to hire a cleaner for a few weeks or even months following their babies birth,but many more families turn to a Post natal doula for support as not only will she do all of the above she is a trained listener and has much experience with breastfeeding.

2. Emotional support,again this is really important as the demands of having a newborn especially twins can be overwhelming and even with a fantastic partner ,they too may be experiencing the same feelings of helplessness.If you have an understanding Mother or Mother in law that is brilliant but equally you may have Friends who have had babies and can understand your feelings.

2.Expert help,it is important during the last few weeks of your pregnancy to find out the numbers of the breastfeeding support networks as well as any lactation consultants that are local,then you will be prepared should you have any challenges.

The main thing is to sort all of this help out during your pregnancy and not when you have crisis we English have a culture of pride and not asking for help this is one time in your life when you must let this go and take any offers of help so that you can concentrate on enjoying your precious New Baby,these first few weeks are fleeting , you can never get them back so you really do need to allow everyone else to carry the load for you.

New Brightsparks slings

2010-01-29T13:59:00.000-08:00

I am pleased to announce that we have lots of new brightsparks coorie pouches arriving next week so they will be available form the website any day after next Monday.

I am looking for information on how and what a baby feels during and immediatly after thier birth Journey any one have any suggestions ??

x

2010-01-28T11:06:00.000-08:00

CONFIDENT MOTHER are delighted to announce that they have teamed up with Childbirth Natures Way to provide a BRAND NEW INTERACTIVE ANTE NATAL course.We are absolutley delighted to be involved in this new venture which looks at birth from the perspective of it being a completley natural life event. Read more on www.childbirthnaturesway.com hope to see you there.

PREGNANCY AND BABY CENTRE NOTTINGHAM

2009-12-02T03:14:00.000-08:00

Just a reminder that the new Centre is launching this wek with 12 days of baby ,There are lots of FREE taster session going on including baby massage,baby yoga pregnancy Yoga plus I am therre all day Friday giving talks on Understanding your crying Baby and am holding a baby sleep shop as tasters for the parenting preparation classes I will be holding there in the New Year.

Hope to see you there

X

PREGNANCY AND BABY CENTRE

2009-11-12T06:46:00.000-08:00

Just wanted to bring your attention to this centre which has just opened in the centre of Nottingham for more info check out URBAN KNEADS.co.uk

xx

BIRTH ART WORKSHOP

2009-11-06T01:09:00.000-08:00

Birth Art Workshop
When:
10am - 3pm GMT Saturday, November 21 2009
Where:
The Art Organisation, Station St, Nottingham

for further information go to www the eastmidlands network for fertility and birth

PREGNANCY CLUB AND NEW VIDEO BAR

2009-11-04T05:28:00.000-08:00

Hi Everyone,

well we had a nother lovely meeting at the Toton Pregnancy Club on Monday evening with 6 Mums to be attending and 1 Mum who had her precious bundle 12 days before !!

Also you wlli notice I have addded a few u tube videos about Doulas.

I am at last working on the top ten tips for new parents ......

Yvoone x

Natural Parenting Workshop

2009-10-29T04:36:00.000-07:00

On the 7th of November a Natural Parenting Workshop is being held as part of a Sumac Skillshare day on Wellbeing. Things we hope to cover include homebirth, styles of parenting, slings, real nappies (with some to try out), breastfeeding and vegetarian and vegan diets for children. 10-12.30 and anyone is welcome. There will be a creche for people who wish to bring their children and babies are obviously more than welcome.The address is The Sumac Centre, 254 Gladstone Street, NG7 6HX

http://www.rhgdigital3.co.uk/minisites/baby-led/blog/?cat=4

2009-10-22T03:42:00.000-07:00

Check out this fantastic website

baby led weaning

http://www.rhgdigital3.co.uk/minisites/baby-led/blog/?cat=4

2009-10-20T06:17:00.000-07:00

We Had a lovely time at Toton Pregnancy club last night it was lovely to meet some lovely mums (and dads ) to be ,and hopefully everyone enjoyed the evening.
x

2009-10-18T08:01:00.000-07:00

Just an early reminder so you can start saving your pennies
Sheffield Home Birth Conference 2010Making Home Birth a Real OptionSaturday 20 March 2010St Mary’s, Sheffield

There will hopefully be one in Nottingham too so watch this space

2009-10-17T11:10:00.000-07:00

TOTON PREGNANCY CLUB
MONDAYS 7.30pm to 9pm
AT ST PETERS CHURCH
TOTON.please come and join for a n evening of fun meeting other parents and lots of information !

TWO EVENTS

2009-10-15T21:55:00.000-07:00

These are both happening TODAY Friday 16th October
The Nottingham Home birth group
The Iona School Sneinton Dale
Nottingham
9.30 - 11.30

Beeston Breastfeeding Support group
Beeston Family centre
Trevor Road
Beeston
EVERY FRIDAY
9.30-11.30

see you there !

Facebook page

2009-10-14T09:26:00.000-07:00

Well there should be widget on here somewheer to allow you to become a fan of tjhe confidentmother facebook page which will be a daily update on whats happening s we shall see how it goes.

Autumn update

2009-10-13T07:01:00.000-07:00

Well another year and another Baby and Toddler show !
it was wonderful to meet so many expectant Mummies ,but so sad that hardly anyone we spoke to had heard of a Doula,and more disappointing that we only had one or two turn up for our talk on understanding your crying baby!
But not to worry i will hopefully be putting a condensed version on here at some point.
Just a couple of Highlights,I was delighted to be invited to The launch of a new breastfeeding support group in Beeston last week,please email me for more details.
Oh and I am really excited as Next Monday 19th October sees the launch of a new pregnancy club in Toton... will keep you informed well thats it for today

Its Almost Summer !! (apart from the weather)

2009-06-06T10:27:00.000-07:00

well I just cant belive that we are in June already and it is 6 months since the last posting !!

As for many of this has been a difficult for us at Confident Mother due to the economic climate but we are still here and battling to keep going.

I (Yvonne) had the pleasure and Joy of assisting a lovely Mum deliver her fourth baby at HOME,yes thats right it was a home birth and what a wonderful experience it was to see little Noah make his entrance into the world.It was such a wonderful calm atmostphere full of love and warmth I am absolutley sold out on home birth now!! It seemed by far the best way for a baby to expereince his first few minutes of life outside the comfort of Mummy`s tummy.

It wasnt long after that I attended the Sheffield homebirth conference and what a delight that was I met with a few other Doulas who I hadnt come into contact with before and met so many wonderful women who had experienced homebirths for themselves.

Whilst we are on the subject I must plug 2 fantastic homebirth groups in the East Midlands.there is one in Derby ( A really expereinced Doula helps to run this one) and one in Nottingham run by 2 very expereinced independant midwives.If you want more info just email me through my website or give me a call.The groups are both support groups where you can find out everything you need to know about having a home birth ,and there is always someone there whio has a great story to tell.

Well I think thats it for now I will try and write again soon

Yvonne xx

HAPPY NEW YEAR !!!!

2009-01-13T03:39:00.000-08:00

We hope you had a wonderful Chrismas and are looking forward with anticipation to all that 2009 has to bring !!

Well it has been a strange to start to the year hasn`t it the weather really doesn`t know what it is doing!!

Now is the time of year when we are looking ahead at Confident Mother,what courses will we attend to improve the service we offer,how can we let Mothers know we are here ,so much to do and so much choice.At the moment Yvonne is doing a Food Hygiene course which is proving to be very enlightening though fortunatley most of the information about storage and food preparation she did know about so not too many worries about things that she hasn`t done correctly whilst working with a family.

DOULA AWARENESS MONTH - we just wanted to bring to your attention again that Febuary is Doula awareness month so if you would like to know anything about what we do please look at www.doula.org.uk.

well thats it for now - more news next Month

Autumn News

2008-11-01T05:16:00.000-07:00

Hello to all you lovely ladies(and perhaps men)

Well we have just come to the end of half term and what a busy time it has been!Doing football academies trips to a wonderful swimming lagoon we have just discoverd as well as suporting one of the lovely families I have been working with.
I have been battling with a nasty cold virus this week,but fortunatley did not have the worst of it whilst with the family I am supporting.The winter is always a difficult time for Doulas becasuse we are not immnue form cold viruses,and obviously we are torn between going and helping a Mum who may desperatley needs our help and risking passing the virus on to the newborn baby,(though this is not such a risk if Mum is breatfeeding)I know I would feel terrible if both babe and Mum came down with it from me !!

Next February is international Doula awareness month so all the local Doulas are busy gathering ideas on how we can increase the awareness of Doulas in the East Midlands,if anyone has any sugesstions please feel free to post them Any ideas gladly welcomed!!!

Although today is Saturday I am just off to visit a lovely couple who are expecting their second baby soon and I cant wait to see them so had better get ready now

This weeks Happenings

2008-10-14T12:11:00.000-07:00

Hello Everyone,

Things as always have been busy at Confident Mother,and this week(Sunday) along with several other local Doulas I attended the East Midland Baby and Toddler show.It seems to becoming a regular event for us, it was a bit quieter this year,but I still made lots of new friends and introduced the concept of a Doula to lots of new Mums(and Dads).
It is always fantastic to meet so many wonderful people with such diverse views on giving birth and raising children and hopefully we will keep in touch with some of them.
This Friday it is the Nottingham home birth group meeting so hoping to see some of you there.If you want details just give me a buzz or email.

2008-10-03T10:27:00.000-07:00

Hi Everyone,

Sorry i didnt manage to write last week but things are busy busy busy!!
I am working with some wonderful families at the moment that I haven`t had a minute , but do keep an eye on the website as you will see some changes through the next week or so !!!

Welcome

2008-09-17T06:52:00.000-07:00

Hello and welcome to The Confident Mother "blog spot".

This is our latest page where you will be able to read all about the changes at confident mother as well as read and download articles on various aspects of care of the new mother and her precious little one (or two`s and threes`s).

This is only our first posting but there will be many more with lots of info.

Thanks for visiting and we will catch up again soon

Yvonne